Baby: Overwhelmed R We

Anyone reading this --- it's not a registry.

My wife and I traded freakouts last night. We R going to be in/around Atlanta for the holidays, which is the only time we'll be around there before the baby arrives, and the only time for showers and such to take place. It's fantastic and so kind of friends and family to want to do this. Even though it's too early to be carting a lot of stuff around, we felt we should start a registry or something or at least start investigating the world of baby supplies. Friday, we went to Babies R Us after finding one about 40 minutes from our place. Mistake?

If you've never been in one, let me share. As we walked through the door, we were immediately greeted by a massive registry desk with about 10 chairs seated around multiple computer stations. Is there a "rush"/season for babies? We discussed before we went in that we didn't want to sit through a big sales pitch, so I stood while Corrin sat down to fill out the form. The lady asked if we were in a hurry. "Absolutely." The short version still took her 7 minutes, complete with a Babies R Us credit card pitch. "Just think of those 10% off coupons!" Ooooooooooooh. Then the manager has to come by and stumble through the same credit card pitch, even suggesting that people who buy something from our registry should be encouraged to sign up for the credit card and get 10% off the purchase. "Thanks, we'll be SURE to pass that along to all our financially ignorant friends and family."

Set scanners for stunned.
There we were, adrift in the sea of baby merchandise. With the constant reminders of unsafe manufacturing practices in China, not to mention their militaristic regime and penchant for screwing things up in the world, we do know that we'd like to avoid the "Made in China" label. What kind of bottles? Don't know, need to research. What kind of pacifier? Silicon vs. Latex. Silicon. Great, which ones? Classic Gerber - made in China. No thanks. Never heard of this brand - Made in Germany. We have a winner. Why is everything pastel? Diaper Genie II vs. Diaper Genie vs. Diaper Champ? Research. Fold up placemat thing. Sure. Washcloths - China. Onesies - China. I'm still not sure what a "onesie" is.

And then, the car seats, strollers and swings. Holy mackerel. 25 options each. Where do you start? I'm not sitting in it and I have to have one before I have a baby to put in it, so I can't even test the heft. How can I possibly differentiate? Infant seat vs. Convertible. Removable car seat bucket thing vs. Stay-in-car. Drop seat in stroller vs. Stand alone stroller. Some of those strollers R tanks the size of my kitchen. Where would I put that? How do they break down? Slide here, push there, lift this while depressing that and BANG--it's just that easy.

We know we want a baby pack thing. Hey, we can try those on! Where do you unclip the...tighten the...strap the...unhook the...snap the... Yes! I have achieved full pack-readiness! However, my pack is empty. Now, how do I know what it feels like to have an 8-20 pound sack of my progeny in there? Hmmm...you could just pull down on it. ummm...Ok.

YOU MUST HAVE A THEME FOR YOUR KID's ROOM!!! We don't even have a room yet! Blankets - China. Wraps - China. Hats - China. Sheets - China. Booties - China. Wooden freakin' blocks - China! Play mats - China. Now I picture China as a vast, very brightly colored, animal (possibly aquatic) themed play set. How can they possibly make everything, especially in a country full of so many cool things to play with?

The freakout. So, believe it or not, we weren't even freaked out at that point. We were so not freaked out, that we were able to go into a store where I could try on shoes and BUY them. Some of you know how difficult this is for me. Maybe it was an effort on my part to do something certain. My wife was there for the critical fashion eye. She brought me the candidates. "I like these. I will buy them. I am done."

Last night, was the freakout. I have a stack of books I'm supposed to read. Corrin was looking through possible registry sites after we decided that we don't really want to register at Babies R Us. Then, she started getting a little overwhelmed about having to decide on a stroller, car seat and all that now. She asked for help and asked that I start looking through "Baby Bargains" to find out what we really need. I did. That led to lots of detailed stuff about car seats I hadn't even known existed. The LATCH system. Which car seat fits which car? Huh? They don't ALL fit? You may have to drill a hole in your floorboard. What!? Call a Canadian dealer to find out the part number of this bolt. Are you kidding me? Every review of every seat and stroller has pros/cons that don't seem to really help you sort it out. On top of that, it's not a new book, so good luck finding some of those items. On top of that, we have to find a new apartment to store baby stuff for 3-4 months. Oh, and unrelated, Georgia got shafted by the BCS. My turn to freakout. Bourbon is good.

Where we "R" now.
Researching seats, strollers and non-store-specific registry sites. Researching whether it's possible that someone out there somewhere sells something that isn't made in China. The shower will almost have to be gift cards and whatever little things people give at showers. Crisis averted. Holiday excitement restored. Sugar Bowl enthusiasm in tact. Bourbon empty.